


How cake changed the Wizarding World

by millenniumdevil



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, Gen, Not to be taken seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-01-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:47:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22082839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/millenniumdevil/pseuds/millenniumdevil
Summary: Voldemort starts off trying to kill Harry, but ends up eating cake with him.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 25
Collections: Flashing into the New Year





	How cake changed the Wizarding World

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [flashing_into_the_new_year](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/flashing_into_the_new_year) collection. 



> In response to this prompt:  
> merrinpippy:  
> I just had a weird mental image of dumbledore being like "okay wtf this is the fifth time voldemort has tried to kill the dursleys, what's up with that"
> 
> and mcgonagall's like "have you considered that it's because every time he tries, harry sends him a gift basket"
> 
> and harry just pats hedwig on the head and goes ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

The first time it happened, it was in a freak car accident. The car suddenly toppled onto its side, mildly injuring the three Dursleys.  
Only 6 year old Harry, the true target of this attack, was left unscathed, protected by his accidental magic. Voldemort, the perpetrator of this attack gritted his teeth in frustration.  
The Dursleys were rushed to the hospital and Harry was left forgotten, to slink back home to 4 Privet Drive. It was his birthday, and he considered a night without  
the Dursleys the best present he could receive. He quickly baked himself a cupcake, cleaned up the mess, and went to his cupboard to savour it.  
The next day in class they had to write a letter to their parents about what they were thankful for. Not having any parents of course, Harry wrote a  
letter to the mysterious benefactor who made his birthday the best one yet. He even got to have cake! Accidental magic works in mysterious ways,  
and this letter made its way to Voldemort, who was currently forcibly inhabiting the body of a garden snake in the Dursleys back garden.  
He was perplexed to say the least. 

The next year on Harrys birthday, something similair occured. The Dursleys were magically swept away in the torrential downpour that only affected 4 Privet Drive.  
They were meant to drown, but alas, they only suffered minor bumps and scrapes. They were taken to the hospital and Harry was once again left to enjoy his birthday alone.  
Well. not completely. Throughout the making and the eating and the enjoyment of the cake, Harry had a silent spectator, in the form of an incorporeal Voldemort.  
There was a peculiar warm feeling niggling away at the empty space where his heart used to be. He wondered if he was ill, infected by that snot covered ball of lard  
that inhabited the house. The next day he received another thank-you letter.

This continued. Each year on Harrys birthday, something inexplicable would happen to the Dursleys, leaving Harry to enjoy his birthday. He'd bake himself  
a small cake, and make a wish, hoping to meet the person who did this for him. Each time he'd also feel a strange presence in the kitchen, but he didn't pay much mind  
to it. Voldemort also enjoyed the thank you card each year. 

Even after Hogwarts began, even after the whole Philosophers stone debacle occurred and Harry realized who his mysterious birthday benefactor was, 31st July  
was still Harrys special day. 

By Harry's 15th birthday, Voldemort had finally received a corporeal body, though a rather disfigured one. After removing the Dursleys for the day, he finally joined  
Harry for the birthday cake he had been eyeing for years. Even though they had tried to kill each other a month ago, 31st July was special. On August 1st  
Voldemort received his traditional thank you card. He felt a curious feeling in his chest, maybe relief. Strangely he also received a fruit basket this time (Harry had  
thought Voldermorts new body was terribly thin). 

By Harrys 16th birthday, they had come to an agreement that perhaps killing each other wasn't the smartest idea. By Harrys 17th birthday they realized that seeing  
each other only once a year was frankly idiotic, so after enjoying some birthday cake they walked off into the sunset together, leaving Dumbledore to scratch his head,  
and Wizarding Britain to sort out its own issues.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic so please be kind. I know its not super well written but I'm trying to get back into writing and this prompt seemed super fun!


End file.
